An Old Friend from Dwight Morrow High School

I first knew Naomi in high school – Dwight Morrow High School in Englewood, NJ. We hung out a lot, especially going to movies on the weekends. If we wanted to go on a Friday night, I'd first have to share Shabbat dinner with the family – as a nonobservant Jew, this was my only exposure to the rituals of Shabbat. I remember Naomi's mom saying the blessing over the candles, and her dad doing the same over the challah. Only after everything was cleaned up could we go out for the evening. I also loved it when her dad built a fire in the fireplace, another novelty for me, since I always had lived in apartments. Their home was always filled with plants, yet another novelty for me, as her dad had been a botany major in college.

Somehow, "N" & I shared the same weird sense of humor. I remember when we went out of our way to see the (now) cult classic, "Beat the Devil." She & I were the only ones in the theater laughing at the absurdities in the film. And yes, we too had our giggling fits.

By coincidence, Naomi lived in New Brunswick while I was a graduate student at Rutgers, so we got to see each other often during that year.

After I married and moved away from NJ, & she married and moved to the Chicago area, we didn't get to see much of each other. I once was able to visit her in her Oak Park home, when she showed me not only the city of Chicago, but also walked me around the many Frank Lloyd Wright buildings in Oak Park. We also got together for the only high-school reunion we attended, back to Dwight Morrow for, I think, our 25th. We stayed at her mom's house, the last time I saw Ida before she died.

While I did my share of traveling, I envied some of N's trips, especially the one to China.

She didn't share with me the struggles with her health, and now I appreciate all the more her stamina and courage in doing so much while she knew her time was limited.

I'll miss my old friend.

Shirley Muney

More family photos - from Naomi's sister, Reba Martin

A school picture of Naomi.

6th grade graduation.

Naomi (lower left) with her sisters - Louise (bottom right), Reba (top left) and Miriam (top right) in backyard in Englewood, NJ.

Playing badminton in Englewood, NJ.

At her wedding with her mom and dad on either side.

Naomi and George in Englewood, NJ after their marriage.

Naomi at age 4 on left, with sister Louise, age 6.

With sister Louise, outside the Martins' house in Creskill, NJ.

Naomi on one of her many travels.

With niece Susan and nephew Peter in Creskill, NJ.

With her mother, Ida Lerner, in Creskill, NJ.

Naomi with sister Miriam, right, and her mother Ida, left.

Naomi with her grandfather, Philip Heller, at her high school graduation.

High school graduation.

Memories and Photos from Clarence Ave

Naomi at block party 2006

Naomi drinking frappacino '06

Naomi was our friend and next-door neighbor for the last 20 years. We’d talk all the time over the fence or in each others’ back yards. My last visit to her deck was the Friday before she died, where she was sitting in the sun, eating some of Leonie’s delicious food. Naomi told me that all she had to do was mention some food casually and Leonie would whip it up for her.

We had, over the years, shared stories, as well as moans and groans about CPS and teaching. There’s a definite sisterhood there to which all CPS teachers can relate with or without words.

Naomi with tattoo '06

We loved her quiet strength and surprising creativity. She never bragged about being the visual or vocal artist she was, but it was evident in all the projects throughout her home. She was always amazing me with her latest painting or table or t-shirt she casually displayed.

She never complained about her pain, although we knew it was there. I’m so glad that she got to travel and see some of the world’s beauty and hear her beloved music. It’s an odd feeling to walk down her gangway and know she is not there. But I know she lives in on in the hearts of all of us who loved her.

Linda Bailey (Naomi's next-door neighbor)

Naomi in China

In her final months, Naomi, Jules and I had several especially nice visits. One took place in the hospital when she was realizing how ill she had become. She reminisced about her travels saying, “I am so glad I went to China.”


When Naomi went to China, she had recently endured both lung and kidney surgery and we were terribly worried about both the pollution and her stamina. But she returned full of life and full of wondrous descriptions.


She had climbed some of the Great Wall! She had visited the Terra Cotta Warriors! The warriors especially excited her. I hope you enjoy these images of Naomi in China and those amazing warriors. (The photo on the bottom is a detail of the one above it. Each warrior is unique and each is life sized!)

Joyce (Naomi's sister in law)

My life will be very different without her

Naomi was my friend for 43 years. When she came to the Chicago area we became co-workers.  Soon we were much more than that. We cruised establishments on Rush St, attended art fairs, musical events, movies, and theater. One fond memory is a party in her Belmont Ave apartment where I met Jules and Joyce. We shared our past, hers in New Jersey and New York, mine in Chicago and overseas.  We stayed friends through all the changes in her life.  I remember fearing that I would lose that friendship when she married George, when she became a “married lady”.  It did not happen.

We took a trip to New Orleans, enjoying jazz and cuisine.

We saw each other often over the years, sharing personal and cultural experiences.

Although she was younger than I, and new to Chicago, compared to me, she frequently took the lead. She found places, knew how to get to them, and was willing to drive long distances.

My life will be very different without her.  As I came out of a movie Sunday, I found myself sharing my opinion of it with her, as I always did. When will I stop doing that?

One thing I soon learned about Naomi, once you were her friend, she kept you close. She accepted you, warts and all. May I learn from her and do likewise.

Stella Brando

A photo from Creskill, NJ

From left to right: Naomi, Bernie (brother-in-law), Miriam (sister), Jules (brother), and Joyce (sister-in-law)

Dancing at Lisa and Mike's Wedding

   

We were thrilled to have Aunt Naomi dancing the "day" away at our wedding in July, 2004.

It wouldn't have been the same without her!

Lisa and Mike Wazeka (Naomi’s niece and nephew)

Jules’ Eulogy for Naomi

I’m Jules, Naomi’s brother, and we’re all here to bid her farewell and celebrate her life. Naomi’s sense of the divine was rooted in her love of family and friends (and how pleased she would be to see us gathered in her honor), and rooted in her love of music, art, and the awesome beauty and power of nature, but less in the formal trappings of organized religion — hence the lack of clergy today. Rather she asked that we gather, reminisce, and share stories and anecdotes about her. And I think that’s great because none of us ever know a person completely.

I in my life have been son and brother, a husband, an uncle, a friend, a biologist, a student, a teacher, a customer, a grocery clerk, even a sandblaster for a while, but no one knows me in all of these capacities. But we can share unique bits of Naomi with each other and learn more about her.

Since I’ve known Naomi all of my life (she was here when I arrived; I was here when she left), I’ll go first and begin by saying I never understood how the oldest child does it. My path was smoothed out for me by four wonderful sisters, and Naomi being closest in age to me, not only smoothed but paved it. She taught me which teachers to sign up for, which ones to avoid, when to ask Dad for a raise in allowance, and when to keep my mouth shut.

And even when we arrived in Chicago in 1967 and I discovered the area’s formidable winters, we met at Marshall Field’s (remember Marshall Field’s?) so she could teach me how to buy a winter coat. I was thrilled when I introduced her to Joyce, the girl I was dating who became the love of my life, and with sisterly approval, Naomi told me I’d done good. Some of my fondest memories are of Naomi and Joyce sharing a giggling fit in those early dating days. And Naomi was happy to hand off coat buying duties to Joyce and I thought Naomi’s teaching-little-brother tasks were over.

But recently Naomi paved my way with another lesson. She taught me now to die. When over eight years ago, out of the blue, her mortality was thrust upon her and she was told she had 6-8 months to live, her response was: "Hmmmm, I’d like a 2nd opinion, which she sought and which bettered her first option 12 fold. Eight months became 8 years. She said, “I’ve always wanted to see China. I think I’ll go see China.” Joyce and I were terrified. Beijing is the most polluted city in the world! Winter is coming! You’ve just had lung surgery! Her travel companion took sick and cancelled. The next-in-line companion broke her leg and had to cancel. So Naomi went on her own, made friends with fellow tourists, and loved the experience. And then she cruised the rivers of Europe, joined her sister, niece and nephew in London, saw Central America, went to Hawaii, explored the Baja Peninsula with her sister. She worked tirelessly for the women’s board of the Chicago Symphony. Some of you have seen her listed in their programs. She took art courses, made stained glass, painted. She and I took a lit course at Northwestern. And she sang in two choirs and she danced at a niece’s wedding and at bar and bat mitzvahs of grandnieces and nephews. She took Joyce and me to see Billy Elliot to celebrate our anniversary this past May and we all gloried in that wonderful show. (If you have not seen it, we highly recommend it.)

Shortly after, her health declined seriously, her doctors advised her to find a 24-hour caregiver. Instead, Naomi found herself an angel. I know we’ve all heard of Gabriel and Michael, but there’s another (in our midst) named Leonie and you can all meet her his afternoon. She blessed Naomi’s last weeks so that Naomi died peacefully and painlessly with family and her new friend at her side.

What a last lesson: Embrace life with a bear hug!

I can’t count the gifts — spiritual and material she has given me. One I particularly treasure is a book of the complete poems of my favorite poet, Robert Frost. It’s inscribed, “October, 1964. Happy birthday to my favorite brother. Love, Naomi”  His poem Always is apropos. It goes like this:

Now I go out walking
The world desert
And my shoe and stocking
Do me no hurt.

I leave behind
Good friends in town.
Let them get well wined
And go lie down.

Don’t think I leave
For the outer dark
Like Adam and Eve
Put out of the park.

Forget the myth.
There’s no one I
Am put out with
Or put out by.

Unless I’m wrong
I but obey
The urge of a song.
I’m—bound—away.

And I may return
If dissatisfied
With what I learn
From having died.

London, May 2007

Aunt Naomi and my mom came to visit in London in 2007, and they celebrated Mark's birthday with us.  This is my favorite photo from the day.  Julia

Welcome note

Dear All,

I have set up this blog in order to allow friends and family of my late aunt, Naomi Winslow, to share their memories and photos of her.

Please feel free to post your comments to any existing posts.

If you would like to make your own contribution by posting text or images, please email me at nwblog@jrapkin.com and I can add you as an author or, if you prefer, post any content for you.

With best wishes,
Julia Rapkin (Naomi's niece)